hipsters don’t wear helmets
Thursday, May 15, 2008 0:10According to officials, and officials at the SF Bike Coalition, “official” Bike to Work Day is tomorrow, May 15th. So they say it is official, do they? Well then, if this is indeed official, then I’m going to need to see some official identification. For that matter, anyone claiming an event, person, day of the week or inanimate object is “official” (and especially if they do that thing where they raise there hands to mimic the quote signs), will need to show proper identification as part of the certified, ‘Official List of Official Things Act’ of 2008.
I’ve got three important public service announcements:
1. If you’re driving today (…and always!), please be careful, courteous, and treat everyone on a bike as if they were your dearest love!
2. If you’re riding a bike to work tomorrow or any time you’re on the street with cars- i.e. all that momentum/mass unforgivably ready to collide with you in an instant-wear a helmet! …all it takes is a smack on the head, and you’re done. SF has some wicked streets. not as safe a city to bike around as pdx (…when I lived there I didn’t have a car for several years; rode my bike year round to work, through rain, sleet and snow. That’s right, I was a postal enthusiast …btw pdx is a fun city to bike around). In SF, deaths are up this year.
3. Check out this cool bike app (with full notes) that calculates the most bike-friendly, shortest, or balanced route from A to-(finish the pun please)-B in sf; complete with an elevation gain max you can set.
Lastly, a friendly reminder that this week is also bike to work week. Keep in mind though, this is only a friendly reminder. In addition to your economic stimulus checks showing up in the mail, don’t be surprised if a few plain-clothed men stop by your place and politely take your car keys for the rest of the week. You’ll get’em back, don’t worry. There might be a ding here or there, or possibly the enchanting odor of old spice, sweat from a long day at the bowling alley, or a Pomeranian or two. Never fear, no missing briefcases or homework from little Larry are wedged in the spilt coffee, decades-of-dirt encrusted crevasses of the seats.
